Political Frenzy

So before I thought “Mitt Romney - Massachusetts conservative. Executive experience, okay, fair enough, sounds like an alright dude.”

WRONG.

I was wrong. I admit it. Mitt Romney is a total smeghead.

In a recent Fox News interview, Mitt Romney was asked the perennial question, “What is your favorite novel?” You’ve got a lot of choices, from A Tale of Two Cities to the novelization of Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. What does he answer? “Battlefield Earth”.

For those not in the know, Battlefield Earth is to the Church of Scientology what Birth of a Nation is to the Ku Klux Klan. For those unaware of what THAT means, click here. The novel (recently adapted into a film by a large number of Scientologist actors and crew) is written by L. Ron Hubbard, founder of the church, and is an obvious preaching of Scientologist values.

One of the fundamental principles of Scientology is that psychiatrists are evil megalomaniacal masterminds who use hypnosis and drugs to keep the entire population of Earth under their command. They also believe that human souls are actually the ghosts of dead aliens who have been brainwashed by ancient alien psychiatrists into feeling pain. Oh how I wish I were making that up. But I’m not.

The book follows the adventures of Jonnie Goodboy Tyler (dumbest character name of all time) in the year 3000 when an alien race known as the Psychlos has enslaved humanity. A little about the Psychlos: they are so named because the Catrists, the ruling class of the Psychlos, have dubbed them all mental patients - Psychlo being their word for such. Jonnie Goodboy Tyler comes in contact with only one benevolent member of this race who belongs to a church where they are trying to overthrow the Psychlo Catrists.

Say that real fast: Psychlo Catrists.

Now, I’m no fan of the psychiatric profession - psychology, a completely different profession, is much more capable of handling most cases of mental distress, and modern psychiatry is much to preoccupied with drugs and medicine. But to think they are some kind of evil cabal is going far overboard.

Mitt Romney’s favorite book of all time is a piece of propoganda for a dangerous and twisted cult. And it’s not even very well written - trust me, I’m a tremendous sci-fi fan.

To put the spoiled whipped cream on the crap sundae, Mitt Romney made this joke:

As a Mormon, I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman… and a woman, and a woman…

Yuk yuk. Polygyny isn’t funny, Mr. Romney, it’s a disgusting practice of devaluing women and is a hallmark of a violent agricultural society. So shut your big ugly pie-hole.

Your mission for the day: burn a copy of Battlefield Earth, kick John Travolta and Forrest Whittaker in the pants, and DON’T VOTE FOR ROMNEY!

Mitt Romney, Battlefield Earth, L. Ron Hubbard, Scientology, Mormonism, Polygyny, Polygamy, John Travolta, Forrest Whittaker, the body politick