Political Frenzy

Directed by an ad on my own site, I came upon a little niche of the internet known as “HumanEvents.com”, which boldly proclaimed “Leading the Conservative Movement since 1944″. Wow. That’s an old website.

I was given an offer I couldn’t refuse. Allow myself to be addressed as “Fellow Conservative”, and get an email with a PDF file that regales all the dirty secrets of the baby-eating maniac who is Barack Obama. Color me excited!

It’s quite a hefty little packet, with 17 authors filling 32 pages. The author of the second piece is the esteemed Ms Ann Coulter, whose rage against Hollywood is tempered by her dating of many many celebrities (kept those legs shaved for the Spin Magazine Editor, huh Ms Holier-Than-Thou?). Honestly, Republicans are entranced by the fact that skirts always seem two inches away from pulling a Brittney Spears (click on this article’s picture, I swear to you you can look up her damn dress IN A JPEG). Apparently Democrats don’t mind because they’re all gay. I guess.

Ms Coulter’s article had me gasping at her audacity. The PDF warned me I was not allowed to copy or quote without written consent (no way can I get written consent) so I suggest you download it yourself: http://www.humanevents.com/offers/offer.php?id=BHO201

She makes reference to things I have never heard of, apparently movements or political groups that, quite frankly, don’t exist. She says that Obama attacked people who are pro-smallness in politics. But as far as my research indicates, that is a phrase Obama himself coined. Perhaps she is making reference to the “small government” advocates? In which case her fear is misplaced, because contextually it becomes obvious that Obama meant a narrow focus of issues and a small worldview, not a small government.

Coulter also talks about how Obama takes a stand against anti-hope. Well, if you google the term, the first three results are from a LiveJournal user whose handle is AntiHope.

She then goes racist! First she feeds on America’s basest fears like a succubus by only referring to Barack as B. Hussein Obama. Yea, way to emphasize his middle name. Good to see someone finally recognized that all terrorists and America-haters are made that way by what their parents put on their birth certificate.

And in a totally abhorrent move, she suggests that Obama hire Jesse Jackson as a speech writer to help him rhyme. Why? Because he’s black? I mean, that is totally from left field. It came out of left-field, beaned the first baseman in the head, stopped in mid air to tell racist jokes to the coach, turned around, bounced up and down three times on Reggie Jackson’s grave, and then exploded.

Meanwhile, I urge Ann Coulter to go back to the Playboy Mansion where she really belongs.