Political Frenzy

A recent documentary called “The God Who Wasn’t There” is making tremendous controversy for itself by deliberately attacking the fundamental principles of Christianity. The idiocy of the film is unmatched. People who claim Roswell harbors the remains of an alien scout ship have more credibility than anyone who believes a word uttered in this film. I am not a Christian, and in fact love myself to poke holes in any religious literalist doctrine, but this film is absurd.

The claims made by the film:
1) Jesus was a composite character pieced together from bits of ancient lore, not a living breathing human. In essence, the stories of Jesus walking the Earth are entirely fictional. Mainly he is an amalgamation of both Dionysus and Mithras

This is bullpoop. Of course Jesus bears a striking resemblance to many deities and heroes, because there are certain aspects that are universal to such - from Gilgamesh in Mesopotamia to Neo in the Matrix.

Dionysus was born to a virgin mother and was killed and resurrected. First of all, Dionysus’s origin and resurrection have none of the same meaning as Jesus and are used in totally different contexts. And of course any god or God would use those as tools to prove a miracle - I mean, isn’t that the basis of a miracle, that it accomplishes the impossible? Virgin births and the dead being resurrected are two of the most fundamentally impossible things to the human psyche, and the most apparent of miracles.

Look, they built pyramids in Cambodia, Egypt, and Mexico pretty much simultaneously without intercommunication. Why? Because humans, as an animal, respond to certain things universally. We pay attention when someone builds a massive pyramid, and we sure as hell sit up when someone rises from the grave.

As for Mithras, let me point out that the Cult of Mithras came to popularity in Rome AFTER Jesus’s death. Although the cult existed before Jesus’s birth, it was minor to say the least. In fact, the first historical mention of the cult comes from the histories of Plutarch, who was born 16 years after the death of Jesus. The concept of Mithras actually comes from my own religion, Zoroastrianism,thousands of years older than Christ. But the Mithras the movie talks about and the very ancient Mithras are about as similar as Luke Skywalker as portrayed by Mark Hamill and Anaken Skywalker as portrayed by Hayden Christiansen. You sit there wonder why these two even have similar names. Besides, Mithras was only born to a virgin according to accounts in AD, not BC. In BC, Mithras was born out of a rock.

Finally, they come to the fact that Mithras was said to have been born on December 25th hence why Jesus is based off of him. Look buddy, anyone who reads the Bible knows for a fact Jesus wasn’t born in winter - I mean who in Judea would have their sheep out to pasture in December? That’s just when it gets celebrated because, yes, the Cult of Mithras was more popular than Christianity for a while. Plus, if you notice, that’s also when Saturnalia - the Roman festival of backwardsness where the slaves are served by the master, everyone gives gifts, and the drunk never pay their gambling debts - was celebrated. So Constantine was smart and when he made the Catholic Church the official religion of the Roman Empire, he aligned the celebrations of the new religion to match some old ones. That’s the politics of religion.

2) The letters of Saint Paul of Tarsus depict an ethereal Jesus figuratively performing all the miracles, not a living man
Even idiots know that Saint Paul did not know Jesus in life. According to the Bible, Paul saw Christ’s death and resurrection in a dream. Of course he didn’t describe a real man, he never met him! He was writing about his dreams, his visions. Please.

3) There are too many contradictions in Christian doctrine for it to be real
Grow up and give me a break. Of course there are a buttload of contradictions. I’ll let you in on a secret: science, which I personally have a passion for, is also in total contradiction.

I’m studying to be a scientist, and I’m okay with the fact that Newtonian Physics and Quantum Physics aren’t compatible. Newton says that there can be no cause without a direct effect, and that worked for years and years until we discovered radioactive isotopes. Quantum Physics proves that without direct effect a certain quantity of radioactive particles will die after a certain amount of time. So we’re working on a Grand Unification Theory.

The universe is contradiction. The Earth maintains its shape because of contradictory forces, and ambivalence is a legitimate emotion. Don’t expect everything to be black and white.

Look, Christian opposers, I’ll even give you a hint as to where to start if you want to poke through the Bible. For instance, in Genesis, God cannot find Adam in the Garden of Eden without calling out his name, and must ask him why he was hiding (because he ate from the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge and became aware of his own nakedness, of which he was ashamed) thus disproving God’s omniscience. Or perhaps the fact that Adam could not have possibly named all animals on Earth because he had no way of reaching Angler Fish without pressurized submersibles.

These are issues of faith, however, not fact. And when you try and ‘disprove’ Jesus you end up looking like a fool.

For instance, the Romans were pretty well known for being strict record keepers. I mean, that’s why Jesus was born in Bethlehem in the first place, because of a Roman census. Well, did you that they recorded the death of “Iesus Nasaretius”? See: Jesus of Nazareth.

Fools.