Political Frenzy

Well Al Sharpton claimed that “those who really believe in God” will vote against Mormon and Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney. And that sent the East Coast member of the Church of Latter-Day Saints (a rare critter indeed!) and Massachusetts Conservative (even rarer!) Romney into a tizzy. He claimed Sharpton was descriminating against his religion, a minority religion that some - even I - find hard to take seriously. (Joseph Smith read golden leaflets of God out of a hat!? A HAT!?)

But regardless of his silly religion, Romney has a damned good point! Sharpton, long a defender of Civil Rights including gay rights, has suddenly revealed something: it’s not okay to judge someone based on how they are created by God, but it is okay to judge someone on their beliefs.

Of all the nerve! To actually decide whether or not someone is a good candidate for President based on, you know, what he THINKS!

Let’s all get something straight here - for too long Religion has been considered “out of bounds”, somehow equivalent to race in the “things I can’t blame you for” category. But when you have a Church that has to retcon its own canon to fit United States Law (see: Mormon Polygamy) and considers dark skin to be a curse sent upon the wicked by God (see: 2 Ne. 5: 21; Alma 3: 6), then you have a faith, frankly, I’m allowed to make fun of. And if you actually believe that Joseph Smith, a terrible chauvinist, read gold tablets he found by the grace of an Israelite/American Angel, then you’re also sure to swallow the story of Lost 116 Pages. I’m not sure if I want someone like that running my country.

You know, here, I’ve said it. I’m a follower of a minority religion (for all you smegheads not paying attention, I’m a Zoroastrian, Mazdan in other vernaculars) and I’m not afraid of people trying to dismiss or depress me (see: 300, the most racist and hateful movie since Birth of a Nation).

But then we have the other hand. Al Sharpton, apparently self-appointed “Ambassador from all conceivable minorities”, has never been elected because he’s too much of a pompous windbag to shut up long enough to listen. No one voted for him when he ran for Senate three times, no one voted for him when he ran for Mayor of New York, and no one voted for him in the Democratic primaries. He’s never been elected to office, and we - the racial and religious minorities - never handed him the baton.

And now the fundamental flaws begin to show. Shouldering all of our consent, which we never consented to, a wily old man has pointed his silver tongue in the wrong direction. And all minority Civil Rights credibility may just go tumbling down with the Righteous Reverend if this continues much further.

How do such losers come to represent us?

Al Sharpton, Mitt Romney, Mormons, Mormonism, Church of Latter-Day Saints, LDS, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles